"Do you ever just let God love you?"

Good morning.

I was reading my devotional this morning, and a line from Philip Yancey spoke to my heart:"Do you ever just let God love you?  That's pretty important, I think."  Philip was mulling over the many painful issues his friends had been experiencing, when his friend Karen asked him that question.  And it's an excellent question to ask ourselves.

I love my Lord.  I spend time most every morning praying and reading and asking for guidance for the day.  But of all of the things I have asked for, I never asked Him for this - to just sit and let Him love me.  Now it's not difficult for me to sincerely tell Him how much I love Him, and to thank Him for all He has done.  But to just let Him love me....that's a tough one.

Like so many, I was raised to always do my part-and then some.  The "earning" piece of my mind and heart are well established in me.  And that mindset has served me well.  But there is another big piece I have been missing-that He wants to just hold me, and have fun with me, and enjoy me as His Daughter.  I hear that a lot-we are His precious daughters.  But it's been a challenge to walk it out in my life.

The good news is that I really want to learn to sit at His beautiful feet.  And I am learning to walk in this way.  It isn't comfortable yet - like a new pair of shoes that fit but are not quite formed to my feet. But by His Amazing Grace I will learn to let Him love me as only He can do.

I love this scripture: "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly."
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭11:28-30‬ ‭MSG‬‬

I love the part, the unforced rhythms of grace."

So how about you?  Do you struggle with "just letting Him love you?"  I'd love to hear your thoughts.  And again, thanks for listening. ❤️

The Path of Life

Good morning.

Hope this finds you all well and, if like me, you are stuffed with stuffing, and with all things Thanksgiving, ready to move on to the Christmas Season!

“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭16:11‬ ‭ESV‬‬

My thoughts go today to  the scripture, "You have made known to me the path of Life." Just to think that the God of the Universe has a path of Life just for me!  You'd think He had better things to do, what with all of the natural disasters, wars, and division, etc.  But He says He will "make known to me the path of Life!"  Just think about that for a minute.  He will make me know His path for me ( and you.). On this Journey through Life.  The proven path, the best path, the most effective path, and likely the most efficient path.  If only I choose to follow Him.  And if I do choose to follow His path, I will live in His presence where there is fullness of joy!  What a wonderful promise!  Fullness of Joy!  And as we move into this time of celebrating the most significant birth of a Man ever recorded -after all, Time is recorded around Him!- I pray that He keep me on His path, and that my life explodes with the fullness of His Joy!  That it is contagious to all those around me, that their Joy may be full!  And as I pray that for myself, I pray it for each of you as well. And He will answer that prayer, if only we ask Him.

With what shall I come to the Lord.....

Good morning, my friends.

I have been away for a couple of weeks, helping with family things.  It has been an exciting, but very tiring time, as my precious daughter in law has run for Judge and, by His Grace, has won her race!  So it has all been good.  But I am happy to be back to my friends, to share more about The Keeper of My Heart.

Lately I have begun to follow the path of worry.  Now I know it's a path that leads to nowhere, it's a useless endeavor, and it accomplishes nothing...NO THING!  So how do I end up here, and why do I not stop my thoughts as they conjure up a host of scenarios that all begin with, "What if?"  Who lives in the Land of "What If"?  Fear lives there; hopelessness lives there; and unbelief definitely lives there.

Did you know that the term, "Fear not," is in the Bible 365 times?  A coincidence perhaps?  I don't think so!  The Lord tells us to trust Him, to trust what He says, and to rest in Him as He works all things together for our good.  I think much of my fear, and perhaps yours as well, is related to my sense of how far short I fall in my expectations of myself.  "If I had only eaten better, exercised more, saved more money, been kinder, been less judgmental, done things differently with my kids (those nagging thoughts that remind me of the time I had yelled at one of them, and to find out that they don't even remember it, as I apologize for ...whatever I did that time!), and on and on...the list is endless.

Do you ever feel that way? I surely do.  But do you know what our Father says?  "Fear not, I am with you, even till the end of the age.  I go before you and make the rough places smooth.  I have loved you with an everlasting love.  You are mine.  I cause all things to work together for your good."  What wonderful words of comfort, reassurance and love.  And so today, as I arose early in the morning to seek His direction, and wrestled with and brought my fears and concerns before Him, He did what He always does, when I let Him.  He reminded me of the truth of His Word.  And He reminded me again that He is God, and I am not, as He softly spoke to my heart, saying, "Return to your rest, O my soul, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you."  And He has.  And now I rest in Him, with peace and hope and joy.  Thank you Lord.  Amen.

Letting go of what lies behind, I press on...

Hello again.

The apostle Paul tells us this: "Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
(Philippians‬ ‭3:13-14‬ ‭ESV‬‬)

One of the most precious gifts in my life is the FREEDOM I have found in my relationship with my Jesus.  He allows me to come to Him with anything, big or small, lovely or ugly, and He never, ever brings me into a place of condemnation.  And because of this, I choose more and more to want to bring everything to Him, ask for His Blessing or Forgiveness, depending upon the day😁, and ask Him to help me to make what is wrong right, and to grow in what is right, in my thoughts, my choices and especially in loving others.  (Admittedly I have a really long way to go!). And His patience with us is never ending.

However, having said that, He also let's me know when it is time to move on.  And it is now time to move one.  And I am grateful for the healing He brings, the Peace that overtakes chaos, and the Amazing Grace He gives to move forward.  Throughout the painful process of grief, two of my prayers were I believe key to the healing process for me.  Those prayers were, "Lord, please don't waste the pain; use it for good for it is far too great a price to not be of value to others."  The other prayer was, "Lord, don't take me out of this process one day early,  but please don't leave me here one more day than is necessary."  And so the day has come.  I let go of what lies behind and press on to the future He has prepared beforehand.  And it will be good, because He is Good.  Amen.

Sometimes we forget the good things

Hello, everyone,

Sometimes, when we are in the midst of hardship - and let's face it, sometimes life is really, really hard - we forget about all of the Blessings in our lives, or at least I did.  When the pain screams louder than anything else, it drowns out the many, many good things in life.  

While I was mourning the passing of our girl, many other things were taking place.  My dearest, forever friends would call and just "sit" with me.  They would let me weep, or wail, or be angry, never judging or rushing me onto the next steps because it was uncomfortable for them, even though they had lots going on in their own lives.

My best friend, the Captain, my husband and soul mate, picked up a lot of the pieces of our lives as we tried to reconstruct it, dealing with his own pain along the way.  He never complained, he just did what he does so well - he loved me and maintained his "steady as we go" attitude.  

As I reflect on this time in our lives (thanks by the way for listening, as this is healing for me to share it with you), I can see more clearly now.  As my heart cried out, "Abba Father, where are you?"  I see He was there all along, in the faces of precious friends loving us back to health, and in the outpouring of love in the cards and calls we received, and in the manager and team I worked with at the time, who picked up all of the things I was incapable of doing for weeks, and told me to take the time we needed, because they were taking care of everything.   

And so today, as I look in retrospect, I hear His still, small voice telling me again, "I will never leave you nor forsake you, even until the end of the age."  And He didn't. And I am thankful once again for so many Blessings He has brought into our lives,  including you, my friends.  Thanks for listening.

The next steps.

And so we continue to walk the path no one ever wants to go.

We avoid grief.  We run from it.  We hope it doesn't knock on our door.  But it does.  Every man is appointed a day to leave this world, and hopefully, to cross over to Heaven.

As I have said, grief is a personal experience.  There is no badge of honor because you conducted yourself in such and such a manner.  It does not diminish your walk with the Lord, if you know Him, because you have questions, or that you have so much anger that you don't know what to do with it, or that you fall crumpled to the floor, or need to pull off the road because you are having a panic attack, and wondering where in the world you can put your pain.

Grief is messy, and as we walk through this time together, I would ask you for grace when you read these entries, as they will likely not be laid out in a nice orderly fashion.  Over time, we experience many emotions: hurt, anger, denial, depression, and acceptance, but they are not sequential.  Any of them can crop up at any given time, and usually in a very unexpected way.  Sometimes they come in waves, taking your breath away, and at other times, there are large stretches of time that you almost forget.

Remember when I said that, how you walk through your pain does not diminish your walk with the Lord? It really doesn't.  Because He is Bigger than your pain, He is Bigger than your grief, and His shoulders are more than big enough to carry your burdens, even if you cannot see Him, or feel Him, or hear Him (this was a surprise to me, as I expected that He would speak softly to my heart, but the thing is, He didn't- He waits because the pain at the time screams louder than our ability to hear Him).  And then we gain yet another nugget of Truth - it was never about my ability to carry myself, or work  it out by myself, or conduct myself in a manner worthy of His calling.  It has been totally about His ability to protect me, to love me, and to keep me.  Because you see, at the end of the day, even in my darkest hours, He really is The Keeper of My Heart.

Sometimes pat answers don't work.

Hello again.

For those of us who have experienced huge losses, pat answers don't work.  Grief is a personal matter.  With everything in me, I would have been ever so grateful to have someone give me a roadmap to say, "This is how you walk through this time.  Step 1......."  But there is no such roadmap.  There is no set of steps.  And especially, there are no pat answers that work.

I have been a Chrsitian, meaning I gave my life to Him Who Was, and Is, and Is to Come, nearly 40 years ago.  And I meant it.  I committed.  Most days over that forty years, I have spent the early morning hours reading my Bible, praying, and talking with my Jesus.  But after our girl went Home to be with Him, so unexpected, so painful, so excruciating, I had a difficult time really believing so many things I had read and believed.  It shook me to my very being, my heart and my soul.  "God is good, He loves you, He works all things together for good"- the words rang hollow in my heart.  Instead, the word "why?" repeated itself in my thoughts, my prayers, my heart, over and over again.

When we realized it was time to let her go- her pain and suffering would be over for her and how could we selfishly try to keep her here, hanging onto machines to keep her alive - we, my husband, family and closest special friends, held hands and sang Amazing Grace, surrounding her with the only thing we had to offer- to let her know we loved her enough to let her go.  Her pain was over.  Ours had just begun

We are afraid of grief.  "I don't know what to say, or do.  I'm afraid I'll say or do the wrong thing.  Maybe it's best to just avoid it altogether, so I won't do anything."  This who I was before. Grief changes you.  And some questions will never get answered this side of heaven.  But through these horrendously painful experiences in life, we come to a place of surrender.  And if we allow Him, He begins to fill those desolate places with hope.

There is more to share, but enough for now.